'He agreed to buy me replacements... then backtracked': Brother refuses to cancel sibling's debt after his kids ruin expensive art supplies

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 26, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

These siblings were trying not to argue in front of the kids, but they just can't agree on who needs to repay who. 

Children will get into everything that they can. They don't always understand the concept of valuable items. They have no problem throwing food on the floor, breaking plates or vases, or keying your car, just to name a few examples. Their brains simply aren't developed enough to know why some things are more important to grown-ups than others. That's why it's usually the responsibility of the adult who's keeping an eye on them to ensure they don't run wild. 

These two siblings just can't seem to work out an agreement about how to pay each other back. It's partially because u/CSmith100000 owes their brother about $300… but the brother's kids decided to "play" with the original poster's art supplies. To the untrained eye, a brush is a brush and paints are paints. But the kiddos ruined some really pricey art supplies: replacing them with dollar store watercolors or Amazon brushes just isn't going to cut it. 

After you decide who's wrong in this scenario, check out a bunch of major fingernail painting fails that were totally not worth the money. 

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  • 01
    "He let his kids run amok with my art supplies"
    via zgc1993 on Unsplash
  • 02
    AITA for canceling my own debt to my brother after he let his kids run amok with my art supplies? I currently owe my brother around $300-he fronted me some money for a family vacation and said I could pay him back in December (3-paycheck month.)
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 03
    My husband and I are hosting a small Thanksgiving this year with the family members who live within driving distance, and my brother's family arrived on Monday to stay through the weekend. His two kids (3 and 6) are generally well-behaved but they're still kids, so I let him know to keep them out of the bonus room (currently half-finished) and my craft room.
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 04
    You all know where this is going so I'll just cut to the chase. I came home yesterday to find the kids splayed out on the living room floor surrounded by art supplies in ruined condition. They were finger painting with my gouache and had completely cross-contaminated the colors, drawn on my good watercolor paper with copic markers (completely crushing the tips of the markers as well) and ruined
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 05
    or dirtied several items that my friend had brought me from Korea. I confronted my brother, who was nonchalantly watching TV, and he told me that he didn't let the kids go in the craft room, he had gone in himself and grabbed them "just a couple things" to entertain themselves with. He agreed to buy me replacements until I actually started tallying up the
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 06
    cost-then backtracked and said the price was || " and started insisting that most of the stuff was still in usable condition. I said fine, you don't have to replace anything, but you can forget about vacation money. He snapped at me not to argue in front of the kids, I said who's arguing? Sounds like the conversation is over.
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 07
    Now he wants me to pay the vacation money immediately and work out the replacing of the art supplies after. I feel like he's just going to try to haggle me, or is going to replace my stuff with Crayola and call it even.
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 08
    Update: The cost to replace the ruined items minus the Korean supplies would be about $225. Getting an idea of the replacement cost of the Korean stuff is a bit harder-it was mostly journaling/stationery supplies so I'm not 100% sure how to determine the cost of, for example, a half-used book of stickers or a bullet journal that has several pages scribbled in.
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 09
    There was also a set of stamps that the kids tried to use gouache/markers on, which I'm not yet sure if they are going to need replacing or if they can be cleaned off without staining. I was fully prepared to just compartmentalize this whole thing for the next day to get through the holiday, but my husband ended up making a call to my ex-SIL (brother's ex and
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 10
    the kid's mom) and discussed with her what had happened- she was particularly upset that the 3-year-old was allowed to fingerpaint with supplies that were not specifically kid friendly and non-toxic, and she called my brother immediately and chewed him out for that. She also called our parents about it, which turned into a call from our mother to our brother, also chewing him out for being irresponsible. And
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 11
    although no one brought up the money angle (and I didn't expect them to,) he was rattled enough to apologize for yesterday and hasn't mentioned the money. I think I will just pay to replace what I can and consider us even.
    via u/CSmith100000
  • 12
    KaliTheBlaze Tell him that you'll take advantage of the current Black Friday sales to replace the numerous items he stole to give to his kids, and he can have any remainder after you replace the stolen, destroyed items with other identical products or equivalent but no more expensive products. NTA.
    via u/KaliTheBlaze
  • 13
    In the future, you might want to pick up a few kid craft items when you're hosting kids. Yes, it absolutely should be the parents' responsibility, but it can be hard to have everything when you're traveling with small kids. A $10 box of somewhat similar but much cheaper things to entertain the kids will keep any decent parent out of the rest (and be met with gratitude),
    via u/KaliTheBlaze
  • 14
    especially if you give them. an idea about how expensive and/or hard to replace your good stuff is. This is how I've dealt with my own nephews - I have stuff for them that is a small gift from Auntie Kali, often including bargain items and my own cast-offs, and only the only bits of my personal stuff they get to use are things that are hard to damage.
    via u/KaliTheBlaze
  • 15
    pink_gem NTA. Debt is debt. That is why a ledger shows both credits and debits. You and your brother have a ledger of transactions between you. He gave you 300 dollars, so you were at -300. It is totally justified to now use the art supply debt that he owes you to calculate off your debt.
    via u/pink_gem
  • 16
    But, bear in mind, if you are able to replace everything at 175 (which is your cursory estimation, I know not final), then yes, you should still pay your brother 125. Don't do anything yet.
    via u/pink_gem
  • 17
    Figure out what needs to be replaced, replace it, take a photo of the receipt(s), and text it to your brother. If it comes out to 325, tell him he owes you 25 dollars. If it comes out to 275, send him the 25 dollars you owe.
    via u/pink_gem
  • 18
    notforcommentinohgoo Non-artists never understand how appallingly expensive good quality artist's materials are. Send him an itemised bill, so he can see you are not exaggerating. NTA
    via u/notforcommentinohgoo
  • 19
    AHOY Final_Figure_7150 Now he wants me to pay the vacation money immediately and work out the replacing of the art supplies after. Nope. If that's how he wants to play it, do him a
    via u/Final_Figure_7150
  • 20
    spreadsheet, vacation money in one column, art supplies cost in the other. If the art supplies cost is greater than the vacation. money, he owes you the difference. If the vacation cost is the greater one, you give him the difference. And don't list black Friday prices - list actual prices, as that's what they would have cost you.
    via u/Final_Figure_7150
  • 21
    This way both parties technically get reimbursed and you call it even. You're right that if you were to pay him the money in full, he'd try and replace your supplies with substandard quality NTA
    via u/Final_Figure_7150
  • 22
    divamentalis Professional art supplies are expensive, I bet your brother was thinking in terms of kids' paintbox and crayons prices. If necessary you should give him an itemised list and let him see how much they cost. NTA
    via u/divamentalis
  • 23
    Some-Selection1811 NTA Your brother did not take your hobby seriously. Now he will.
    via u/Some-Selection1811
  • 24
    seregil42 If the items that are deemed unsalvageable equal the $300 you owe, then you would not be the AH. If it comes up less than the $300, you would be the AH. Without knowing the exact amount of damage here, I can't give a good judgement on you.
    via u/seregil42
  • 25
    Your brother, on the other hand, should have immediately apologized and should be happy with the idea that whatever the cost of replacement of those items should come out of the money that you owe him. He certainly is an AH.
    via u/seregil42

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artists supplies aita art kids brother paint siblings artist Travel painting money vacation
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